Realizing I Needed Change

November 13, 2010

I am blessed to be “shifting gears”!  Today is the first day to implement more of my chosen life changes.  Life, at age 42, had become too hectic.  There simply was not enough of me to go around or to do all of the things that needed to be done.  My emotions were constantly running high and I felt I had given so much to everyone else; other’s children and not enough to my own.  I felt captive to my job!

How could I possibly feel guilty for taking care of my own children when they needed me because my JOB told me I could not miss work?  When did my life become more about serving others rather than my own family?  I realized the most important things in my life had taken a back seat and certainly did not have the appearance of being the “most important”.  I also realized that my true fire, true happiness had been blown down to a mere spark and that spark was on the verge of going out!

Yes, I am blessed; blessed to have mind enough to realize that not only did I need some vast changes in my life but I WANTED those changes.  So many people think they are happy or believe they should be happy because they have met a certain standard set by society.  Many of those do not even realize what true happiness is and some feel that something is wrong with them because they have achieved so much but still are not happy.  How many bury those true feelings and put on a happy face in front of others just to go home, lay in bed and stare at the ceiling simply feeling an unease and unhappy?  How much more happiness would we all feel if we stopped to look at and appreciate what we do have and what we have been blessed with?

Looking at my life has made me really ponder these questions.  So, yes, I am blessed to recognize my life needed a change and that change included counting my blessings every day!